so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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