Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
