What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
