those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
