hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
