she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
