You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
