that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
