We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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