I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
two words: eviction party
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
