Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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