I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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