it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
