A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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