Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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