Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
