I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
