I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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