called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
