finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
