If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
