Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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