Your face is a jimmy john
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
