are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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