I love black thongs
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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