where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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