Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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