he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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