Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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