That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
