Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
You left your phone here
Wait...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
