You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
