yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
