How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
