check it out our google latitudes are spooning
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
