I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
