i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
