dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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