What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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