Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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