I got chris browned last night
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize