I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
