good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
