I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I supernannyed him into submission
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
