Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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