A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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