Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
