I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Success! We fucked roommates!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
