We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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