I've blown a few things in my day
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
