were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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