thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
