Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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