I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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