we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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