We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
